My weight problem began after i started working KFC and i started eating it on every shift and stopped doing all the fitness work and it started to show, the heaviest I've ever been is 145kg which is not something I'm proud of and haven't really told many people that. I have often been called fat by my peers, team mates, coaches, friends, family and practically anyone else you can think of. People made jokes about it and i have made my own jokes about it to keep a happy face in front of everyone but honestly it killed me a little each time either myself or another person made a joke about it.
Eventually i was fed up with and wanted to do something about it. Mum got on offer on team spreets about "Urban Boot camp" which is fitness training at a park, in my on we do running, a bit of weights, sit ups and push ups, "Speed Boxing" and all that sort of stuff you'd expect, when mum told me about this i jumped on the idea of it but didn't do anything about it for a few months, eventually i began to do it and at first it was a killer, i was sore in places i didn't know it was possible to be sore in, but never the less i toughed it out.
it's been almost a year now and I've gone from 145kg to 118kg, which people tell me is great but I'm not really where i want to be yet but I'm becoming a little bit happier with where I'm at. my coach of the last 2 seasons Matt has made mention to the fact that I'm becoming stronger, faster and better which was a really cool thing to hear because it means that everything I've been doing, all the blood sweat and tears of the last year is paying off. i updated my profile picture to a goofy picture of myself playing at petershem, i throw a ball to first base in warm up and saw that one of the dads was taking photo's so i pulled a goofy face, a friend of mine who'd moved to Queensland and is now back who i haven't seen since school Ashlee, commented and said i was looking thinner. it's for anyone a compliment can go along way, these two that I've mentioned really have stuck to me and have really given me the drive to keep going with what I'm doing, it's the same as an insult can stay in your head forever, which all the fat jokes and stuff has really gotten to me and i was lucky enough that i didn't become deeply depressed forever, i was able to turn it around into motivation to get better.
Which brings me to my lack of confidence, which honestly is started with my weight problem, i was over weight and really felt bad about it, the problem is, my lack of confidence has moved into a lot of different aspects of my life, I'm quite a shy person when you first meet me and I've really bad in new place with new people i feel quite uncomfortable, i was lucky at ACPE because i made a pretty quick friend in Mel and then Todd Van Steensal was also attending. I now have friends in all years at college and now I'm comfortable going there.
i think my biggest lack of confidence is with opposite sex, and i know I'm not the only one that has this problem, but it's just a frustrating thing to have to deal with. I'm interested in a girl and i talk to her and what not but i just don't have the confidence to go and say, "Hey let's go out" or " hey do you wanna do something with me sometime" and it's honestly a pain but it's something I've had to deal with so it's something I'm use to, but this lack of confidence can also be looked at as a blessing, I've learnt not to take things for granted, in respects to being with a girl I'm nothing but loyal and faithful, so in a way a lack of confidence can a little bit of a good thing, obviously I'd rather be able to just walk up to the girl I'm interested in and just ask her out on a date but yeah not really something i feel I'm able to do
Maybe one day I'll be able to do it but i don't see that being anytime soon
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| My goofy face! |
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