Growing Balls

it's been a fairly long time since i last posted a blog. so i think i might catch everybody back up to speed

well played ball in america had the time of my life wth my american family and friends, played with some of the local boys and 2 japanese guys and i can say i have made some life long friends through this game.

i made it back and continued my studies at ACPE and continued my duties at subway as a sandwich bitch at subway :P i have been working a lot and training a few of the new recuits including the same kid every friday night since i got back and we've had a lot of fun :)

ACPE started off as being just as a remembered with a little less " todd " as he was off in the netherlands playing "basketball" after while it's begun to look a lot like high school again lots of teasing and bullying for no apparent reason but hey nothing like trucking on and being the better man :P

came back to an extremely tight play-off race in winter league for greenwy coming down to the last game against cronulla and with a superb effort by me to do everything i could have possibly done to make it so we didnt make the play-off's including 3 inning ending double plays twice with loaded bases and 2 broken helmets, we lost 4-0 and missed out on the play-offs. we were the only team that the minor premier and favourite to win hawksbury and were told that they were the only team they were worried about.

after a disappointing winter campagin summer season started, we started off the season against Manly, i started on the bench ( still unsure why being the starting 3rd basemen all winter) and was in relief after a strong start by our starter who started to loose it i thought i'd be headed in but instead they put it in a different guy who gave up the lead leaving me to clean up lucky for us we scored runs and i was given a 7-4 lead to work with, in my 2 innings of work i throw 5 strike-outs 1 hit and 2 walks.

in our second game we played Blacktown, we struck first gaining a 1-0 lead but as quick as we gained the lead we gave up a run to make it 1-1 and that's how it stayed until the last inning where we were walked off for the second straight year at laybutt reserve, a disapointing loss and one that we had our chances to win but just didnt capitlize.

so that's pretty much all that needed to be caught up on now for the original point to this, "Growing Balls"
i've never been one with the ladies before in my life and not gonna lie probably never will. i decided that i had feelings for a girl, but it being in a complicated situation made it difficult, i guess after acting immaturly about the situation i decided to just go out on a limb and as the title indicates "grow some balls" and just admit my feelings for this girl, well after basically being such down completely and left upset i kinda didn't know what to do, but after a pretty lame 24 hours afterwards i came to a fairly good realization, telling a girl how you feel isn't as hard as previously thought, you know all you really have to do is say "hey i like you" or "hey do you wanna go out sometime" so you know even though i obviously didnt get the outcome i was hoping for i think i've come out a stronger person in the situation then i would have thought but i'm pretty happy with my growth as a person :)

staying up all night!

As all of you should know by now im off to the U.S to play a little baseball! i'm extremely excited and now im staying up all night to make sure i sleep on the plane and am ready to go when i land in dallas! it's now about 1/1:30am depending on how long it will take for me to write this post hahaha i started at about 1:10am lol i've put all of season 10 of family guy onto a usb and i'm gonna watch them all night and try and not fall asleep..... i might be grumpy by the time my 1:30pm flight but i will sleep like a baby! so keen!!!!!! this tournament i'm playing in is quite heavily scouted but it's call "for the love of the game" and that's why i play this game, maybe i could be good enough to make a carrar out of this love of mine but honestly if it doesnt happen im still happy with playing for the ryde hawks in summer and greenway giants in winter every weekend, i play with a great bunch of guys and have made a lot of friends through this game.

would i love to sign? yes
would i love to play college ball? yeah
would i love to play all over the world? of course
but honestly as long as i can put on the hawks/gaints uniform, strap on my size 14 cleats, step in the batter box step on the mound and control the game i'll be happy in my life
and i say if you love it do it! i hope to one day play in a higher grade and i know i can do it and hopefully this trip to america will be the chance i need!

3 sleeps and music as a role in my life

Okay so my last post was a little bit depressing but I was sharing what was on my heart and giving people who are interested an insight into my life and show that even though I come across as bright and bubbly etc but like everyone else I do have insecurites Alrighty!! So now on to the normal me!! :D In three sleeps I leave for Dallas :) if you don't know me or haven't spoken to me in the last 2 weeks or so I'm extremely excited like you wouldn't believe! I'm buzzing about it! I get to see my favorite player and my hero play in Texas, he of course is number 32 Josh Hamilton. The Rangers are playing the Twins, and I will be sitting in right field hopeful for a Hamilton home run to be hit right at me and I catch it (one can dream right??)of course I'll be very upset if he doesn't play but I'm a baseball fan through and through so just being in the atmosphere of a big league ball park watching the game I love :) After sweating our asses off in Texas we head off to new Mexico to sweat more!!! Oh joy hahaha where I will be for the MLB all star game which I'll be watching haha Then off to play in Freeport (which is an hour or so out of Pittsburg which I can't wait for!!! But the important thing is that in 3 sleeps this amazing trip begins!!!!! I may not be the greatest musician in the world and I know I never will be but I have a passion for music that in my life isn't second to much. I listen to so many different styles from rock to dance, pop to country heavy metal to soul and everything in between I honestly just love music. As for instruments I can play, I play guitar, bass and sing, and as a said before I'm not the best but I love music :) its amazing how a melody or a song lyric can change your whole outlook on a day or a week! I was dumped by my ex gf then song "over you" by daughtry really helped me through that tough time but without that song it would have been much harder. My favorite song at the moment is "Just Close Your Eyes" by "story of the year" it's a really good song and I just love it Some of my other favorite songs are:- The diary if Jane breaking Benjamin Call me maybe Carly Rae jepsen Valleys close your eyes All I want a day to remember Stairway to heaven led zeppelin You and me Life house Rollin' limp bizkit Shots LMFAO ft lil Jon Savin me, far away,when we stand together,lullaby, don't ever let it end ( all by nickelback International love pit bull Throw your hands up qwote Faced Down,your guardian angel, cat and mouse ( all by the red jumpsuit apparatus) Break even the script Bangarang skrillex Ghost slash ft ian astbury Love story, you belong with me Taylor swift Tribute tenacious D The rising trivim Count on me Bruno mars Jar of hearts and a thousand years by Christia Perri Those are a few of my favorite songs :) hope you enjoy some of them :)

My Weight and My Lack of Confidence

When i was in under 16's my coach John Chapman whipped all of us into shape with weekly fitness workouts before our training, as much as the team hated him for it it was probably the best thing he'd ever done for us,, i was at probably the best fitness i had ever been at and as a team we played very good baseball for those 2 years because we were physically fit to play.

My weight problem began after i started working KFC and i started eating it on every shift and stopped doing all the fitness work and it started to show, the heaviest I've ever been is 145kg which is not something I'm proud of and haven't really told many people that. I have often been called fat by my peers, team mates, coaches, friends, family and practically anyone else you can think of. People made jokes about it and i have made my own jokes about it to keep a happy face in front of everyone but honestly it killed me a little each time either myself or another person made a joke about it.

Eventually i was fed up with and wanted to do something about it. Mum got on offer on team spreets about "Urban Boot camp" which is fitness training at a park, in my on we do running, a bit of weights, sit ups and push ups, "Speed Boxing" and all that sort of stuff you'd expect, when mum told me about this i jumped on the idea of it but didn't do anything about it for a few months, eventually i began to do it and at first it was a killer, i was sore in places i didn't know it was possible to be sore in, but never the less i toughed it out.

it's been almost a year now and I've gone from 145kg to 118kg, which people tell me is great but I'm not really where i want to be yet but I'm becoming a little bit happier with where I'm at. my coach of the last 2 seasons Matt has made mention to the fact that I'm becoming stronger, faster and better which was a really cool thing to hear because it means that everything I've been doing, all the blood sweat and tears of the last year is paying off. i updated my profile picture to a goofy picture of myself playing at petershem, i throw a ball to first base in warm up and saw that one of the dads was taking photo's so i pulled a goofy face, a friend of mine who'd moved to Queensland and is now back who i haven't seen since school Ashlee, commented and said i was looking thinner. it's for anyone a compliment can go along way, these two that I've mentioned really have stuck to me and have really given me the drive to keep going with what I'm doing, it's the same as an insult can stay in your head forever, which all the fat jokes and stuff has really gotten to me and i was lucky enough that i didn't become deeply depressed forever, i was able to turn it around into motivation to get better.

Which brings me to my lack of confidence, which honestly is started with my weight problem, i was over weight and really felt bad about it, the problem is, my lack of confidence has moved into a lot of different aspects of my life, I'm quite a shy person when you first meet me and I've really bad in new place with new people i feel quite uncomfortable, i was lucky at ACPE because i made a pretty quick friend in Mel and then Todd Van Steensal was also attending. I now have friends in all years at college and now I'm comfortable going there.

i think my biggest lack of confidence is with opposite sex, and i know I'm not the only one that has this problem, but it's just a frustrating thing to have to deal with. I'm interested in a girl and i talk to her and what not but i just don't have the confidence to go and say, "Hey let's go out" or " hey do you wanna do something with me sometime" and it's honestly a pain but it's something I've had to deal with so it's something I'm use to, but this lack of confidence can also be looked at as a blessing, I've learnt not to take things for granted, in respects to being with a girl I'm nothing but loyal and faithful, so in a way a lack of confidence can a little bit of a good thing, obviously I'd rather be able to just walk up to the girl I'm interested in and just ask her out on a date but yeah not really something i feel I'm able to do

Maybe one day I'll be able to do it but i don't see that being anytime soon



My goofy face!



Going to the US and Cody Packer

Between the 3rd of July and the 26th of July i will be in the US of A, I'm really looking forward to it i went in 2010 to play in the " for the love of the game" freeport international where i made a lot of friends, Amanda, Madison, Marissa, sip, hinchy, max,wags, Nolan, Rachel, Julia and many more ( I'm sorry if i missed you it's almost 11:30pm and I'm tired haha) these people are life long friends and i look forward to seeing them all but most of all i look forward to playing with/against the boys and being on the same field as them all again will be another highlight of my life.

in 2010 i met all of the freeport baseball team it was a true pleasure to be on the same field as them, and in 2012 i will be able to get the opportunity to do it again and even better with my best friend in the whole world Cody Packer, i get to travel overseas to play baseball with my best friend and i couldn't imagine anything better to do in my life

Cody Packer and i met through hawksbury baseball club in a winter season. We were playing the outfield together against Sydney Uni at Sydney Uni, Cody in left field and myself in centre field, we were having fun and screwing around and i started calling him "chilly dawg" and we were really having fun with it, late in the game a player from Syd Uni hit a deep fly ball in the left centre gap, as Cody and i both ran after it i yelled "hahaha I'm gonna beat you f**ker." which i did, after this game we became friends.

In summer Cody came to North Shore where i had already played for the previous summer in the under 18's comp, we became closer friends through this and had a blast, 1 night we hung out and that was it we became best friends. we had a game against Central Coast we had a 9 inning 0-0 draw where i throw all 9 innings for 12 strike outs and hit 3 for 3 Cody was there and we hung out that night and i was really buzzing and in a good mood after the game and Cody said to me jokingly " you played alright today, but you could have scored a run far out man" funny bastard

it's been over 2 years since Cody and i had met and we haven't ever looked back and out of anyone in this world i could go to America with especially to play baseball it would be him.

This trip to America is going to be amazing, I'm going to Texas, staying in Arlington and going to see a Rangers game to see my favourite player of all time Josh Hamilton play the sport i love, Rangers vs Twins, after that we will find ourselves in Albuquerque to see friends of mum's which i haven't met yet and am really looking forward to, after that we head to freeport and meet up with Cody, we spend a week playing and hanging out and loving life then head back.

This trip to America is going to be amazing, i get to spend quality time with my family and then with my best friend playing the sport that we both love with a passion, life wouldn't get better if it wanted to

Exam Prep and The Sandwich bitch

I have a week off to study for my end of semester exams. lets be honest my study for the HSC was pretty under par but the only problem with Uni exams is unlike school exams you're can't bullcrap your way through, in the HSC you were able to make up quotes or make up your own theories on what you were studying, you can partually do this for Uni but the only problem is that these exams are based on readings, if you don't know the readings you are screwed, Studying is hard, extremely hard for someone like me who has trouble staying focused

In saying all of that i'm not nervous or stressed out i'm keeping calm and keeping everything in check, too often you see people killing themselves in stress and under achieving so I'm trying to stay away from all of that

For those of you who know, i lost my last job in what i thought were unfair reasons but about 6 hours after finding out i was no longer employed there a friend of mine and mum's put in a good word for me and got m hired at subway i'm now a " sandwich artist." i call myself a "sandwich bitch" and surpisingly my boss is okay with it, haha. i've been working at subway for 3 weeks now and i'm loving it, my boss is really nice and funny, he keeps the job interesting and fun, which he has my respect, it's a very hard task to keep me focused but if you use humor or fun it generally works, he uses both, so aiden has my respect and thanks for hiring me.

As a "Sandwich Bitch" i get to learn all the ropes. there's more then meets the eye at subway, we don't just make sandwiches, we bake our own bread, prep all our ingredients it's actually quite interesting working there, i have a lot of fun with my new friends at subway and i hope i can learn more and make more friends as i meet all the staff

wanna get leahyed?

so i have a good friend whose been blogging for ages and i have been reading his blog for quite a long time so i've decided to start. i have a lot of thoughts and dreams and broken dreams and i would love to share them all with the world :)